1.    Family time.  It is the only time of year when you can play boggle with the whole clan, re-gift the garlic roaster to the spinster aunt and watch Uncle Billy Bob get inappropriately drunk and make a pass at your new brother-in-law.

2.     Holiday greeting cards.  It is the perfect time to reassure yourself that passing on boyfriend number three was the right call, as no amount of photo shopping can disguise that his off spring have inherited both the lazy eye and weak chin.

3.     The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  A tribute to our founding fathers replete with oversized inflated turkeys and a bunch of Puerto Ricans dressed as American Indians.

4.     New Year’s Resolutions.    I promise this year I’m going to lose ten pounds and take time for myself…right after I help Superman defeat Lex Luthor, invent a solar powered tampon and catch up on Oprah’s top one hundred ah-hah moments of the new millennium.

5.     Stretchy pants and over-sized sweaters.  The holidays are the only time when muffin-tops are an unavoidable holiday side-effect and a delicious brunch staple.

6.     Stuffing things.  Whether it be a turkey, a stocking or your significant other, a full pouch never felt so good.

7.     Santa’s watching you.   Good year round to make the kids tow the line and also a little kinky for those of us not adverse to a little voyeurism.

8.     Eggnog.   You may hate yourself in the morning, but when it hits your lips it’s so good.

9.     Office parties.   Nothing like watching the chain smoking secretary and the IT programmer take indecent liberties under the mistletoe or see the new boobs you bought your boss’ wife with the extra hours you worked for that new client on full display.

10.  Hugh Grant, Colin Firth and George Michael.  Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next year I can watch the  Love Actually and Bridget Jones marathon on TBS all over again.  Ahh, the perfect holiday trifecta.