As soon as the Summer months are in sight I seem to be on the search for three things…new flip flops, the perfect tank top, and my 12^th grade body during the one brief week when I had 6 distinct abs. Now, on a good day I could maybe make out 2…one on top and one bottom. 

But I digress. I was so excited when I walked into Target this week and spotted the Mossimo Long and Lean tank. Long, good! Lean, great!And it came in a veritable cornucopia of colors from basics to the perfect rich blue. The price you ask, a dreamy $7.99.

I was almost cocky as I slid the citron yellow tank over my head. But that all changed as I turned around to face the mirror and saw a butternut squash staring back at me. Despite the fact that I went up a size to a large, it was obscenely clingy and the dark shadow of my belly button was taunting me through the ribbed fabric. It wasn’t even tight in that way that makes your boobs look great…the arm holes were so constricting it looked like my armpit threw up a dinner roll.

I suppose I could have tried an XL but as we all know, no bargain is worth going up two sizes. This was a complete and utter failure.

Rating: .5 carats. If you are already long and lean, this tank is for you. If you have any bumps, lumps, or blemishes, this tank will shout them out to the world.