If you are like the Product P’s, phantom white legs are a genetic gift you would like to return for store credit.   In our never-ending quest to find products to make our lives, and our legs full of color, I tried Jergens Daily Glow Mosturizer which sells at most drugstores for an affordable 7-9 dollars.  I, as the two weeks worth of clean laundry on my guest bed can attest, am a lazy bitch.  So any product that can make my legs both soft and tan, gets at least the ‘ole college try from me.  

Now, most of us have used self-tanner in the hopes of having sun-kissed skin, minus the melanoma.  And, subsequently most of us have had the experience of our legs looking like we just ate a big bag of Cheetos and wiped our hands off on our ankles.   So, with a fair amount of trepidation, and no Cheetos in sight (ate them in advance), I slathered up my freshly shorn gams and hoped for the best.   And waited and repeated, and waited and repeated.    After two weeks of using this, my legs did go from a shade I lovingly refer to, as bat crap white, to more of a muted oyster.   And, to be fair, aside from some little residue in the crater under my ankle knob, for the most part I was streak free. Overall, though, I think Jergens should stick to their old staple, that vanilla almond moisturizer, which smells like you could eat it with a spoon and leave the tanning to the make-up department of Dancing With the Stars.   This product does not get the dial in vote from me.

Rating: .5 carats.  Spend the money on Cheetos instead.