Unless you are 16 or have recently visited the plastic surgeon, almost everyone could use a little pick me up in the breast department.  Searching for the perfect bra is like looking for love.  Sometimes the one that fits you the best is the last one you look at.  In search of “the one” I recently ventured in to one of my favorite stores…Nordstrom.  I seriously love this store.  When I die I want to be stuffed and used as a mannequin in Ladies Fine Fashions.  As I waltzed into the lingerie department with the piano man’s unplugged version of Take it to the Limit tinkling in the background, I was cautiously optimistic.  Ignoring the frothy wisps and delicately embroidered demi-cups that would have called to me when sex was not just a way to procreate, I went straight to the back section.  And there it was…the Bra-llelujah from Spanx.  The price halted me for a second, but $62.00 is really a pittance to look like Heidi Klum, albeit with her clothes on.  

This thing is not pretty, and definitely more function over form.  It is almost sturdy enough to build and outdoor shelter and, depending on your cup size, could protect you from a moderate downpour.  However, it kept the girls firmly in place above the equator and looks great under tee-shirts and more form fitting tops.  The straps and back do smooth out unsightly lumps and, as Spanx claims, banish the unsightly VBL (Visible Bra Line) aka back fat squeezage.  However, this bra is by no means is this a substitute for diet, exercise and/or liposuction.  Additionally, if you think there is any chance of getting to second to base, I would keep one of the aforementioned “cute” bras in your purse and switch it out before the heavy petting begins.  

Rating:  2 carats.  Definitely worth the money and if they just made it in pink with maybe a little something pretty on it, it would get 3 carats from us.