Now I am blessed with many things…wit, charm, cat like reflexes, but not the body for shorts.  I have slid my gams into countless versions, but from jams to daisy dukes, and they have all fallen, well, short.  Despite the fact that I am 5’8 and an average size 8 every time I put on a pair of shorts I look like Danny Devito’s midwestern aunt. They instantly turn me into a shorter, stockier version of myself.  And I am sorry but when did shorts become appropriate work and evening attire.  Shorts have no place being fancy; send them back to the gym where they belong…that way I’ll never have to look at them.

This past weekend I naively began the search again for this season’s version of a torturous trend.   Somehow I was confident that this year would be different, that this year I would find the perfect pair that lengthened my legs and lifted my bottom.  That this year I wouldn’t end up looking like a sexually ambiguous middle aged mail carrier.

Well after countless stores my legs were chapped from slipping them in every offering from Banana Republic to J Crew.  I finally found a pair that was, well…ok.  If my life was in jeopardy or I couldn’t afford full-length pants I would wear New York and Company’s City Style Short.  I bought a pair in Pink Jacquard for $30, but many of their other fabrics are now on sale for about $20.  Grudgingly, I admit I could see how I could wear these to work with a crisp white shirt, and if I was drunk before I dressed to go out, these might be cute with some wedges.  These also have the all important flap above the back pocket…I need something to beak up that piece of real estate.

Rating: 2 carats.  If you must, these aren’t a bad buy.