We’ve been bad, bad girls…life has been getting in the way of  snarky comments, self deprecating humor, and the worst of all…shopping.  For now, take solace in the fact that you can get 30% off the entire store at Old Navy this weekend.

They’ve really upped the quality of their basics this season.  I’m loving this sweater...perfect staple for skinny jeans.  Be sure to order a size smaller than normal for that sexy Tawny Kitaen vibe we’re all secretly after.

1.   To eat more refined sugar.

2.   To stop making fun of midgets, karma’s a bitch.

3.   To make the muffin top the hallmark of womanly beauty and acclaim.

4.  To stop showering and drying our hair daily…for mother earth.

5.  To watch more of the, “The Biggest Loser” to feel better about ourselves…until they get skinny and can run farther than us. Well, that first episode is great.

6.   To finish our ground breaking historical romance novel, “A Ravishing Gone A Rubbishing”,  the much anticipated sequel to “A Plunder Gone Asunder”.

7.   To give back to the world every single day whether it be through volunteering, helping those in need, or just make sure no one is subjected to the unsightly vision of our whale tail in our too tight jeans.

8.   To stop drinking alcohol.  Yeah right, just about as likely as Tiger Woods keeping it in his pants. Boy am I thirsty…

9.   To outgrow our pants so we can give them to the less fortunate.

10.  Solve global warming, disarm Iran, find the perfect button fitted button down shirt, and to unite Product Princesses all across the globe.

Hello all,

Ruby and Pearl here wishing you a Happy Holiday.  Whether it’s Quanza or Solstice your celebrating, we hope you all make merry and get some under the mistletoe.  We’ll be back and better than ever in the New Year!

xoxo

Ruby and Pearl

6pm.com has Steven by Steve Madden shoes at 55% off, Nine West shoes and boots for $29.95 and Charles and David for 60% off.

1.  Fruitcake- Part doorstop, part Texas Sushi.  Its always smart to pass on squishy, fruity balls.

2.  Those little favor coupon books- ladies do you really want to walk in after a long day’s work and have your significant other present you with a piece of paper saying he is entitled to a sexual favor?  Whip out the visa instead…you will thank me later.

3. Anything for your pets- Does a creature that spends a significant amount of time every day licking its own naughty bits really derserving of a Christmas present?

4.  Holiday letters describing your family’s past year- let me let you in on a little secret…no one cares if Bobby won the soccer championship or Little Susie came in second in the most fantastic child who breathes air pageant, so save a tree and don’t waste your time.

5.  Anything that requires more than 30 minutes of assembly time- We all think our children are brilliant, but even future aerospace engineers do not need any thing at ages 10 and younger that requires a degree from MIT and 4 Bloody Mary’s to assemble.

6. Holiday applique anything- From sweaters, to ties, to pot holders.  I like Christmas as much as the next person, but the season is festive enough with out the nativity sceen complete with Rudolph gazing adoringly at the Baby Jesus emblazoned on your chest.

7.  Anything that requires some action be taken on the part of the giftee- While the thought is nice no one wants to be an active participant in their own gift, so save the cooking classes, enrichment seminars and Lowe’s cards for someone who gives a damn.

8.  Photo Montages of Your Children- We know they’re cute, most of the time anyway, but even the most doting of grandparents are at a loss as to where to display the 3ft by 5ft visual display of every significant event of your little bastard’s past year.

9. Anything gift that requires water, food, sunlight or excessive amounts of attention. The odds are not in your favor.

10.  Boxes of Fruit- I have honestly never understood this one.  Why does an oversized box of pears, apples and oranges equate with the holiday season?  Maybe a symbol of the fruitfulness and bounty of the past year?  Or maybe it is suggestive or a ripeness of spirit than endows the blessings of the holiday season?  Or maybe it is sign that your gifter was lazy, uncreative and thinks your fat behind could benefit from a little less eggnog and a little more vitamin C.

As we head into the Holiday home stretch I find that the more I cross of my list, the more I realize I have forgotten to put myself on there.  After mailing packages and running spreading cheer, I looked in the mirror and found my face shinier than Rudolph’s honker.  I’m all for the dewy look, but winter cold and blasting heat stimulates my t-zone faster than Tiger can pull a hooker’s hair.

Thankfully there is a solution.  I am loving Sephora’s Matte Blotting Film.  These little beauties soak up oil but leave make up in tact.  Unlike some of the other blotting papers I have used, these don’t leave a chalky powder behind.  The sheets seem to be made of a soft silcone-y substance that sucks up oil faster than you can say egg nog.  And at $10 for 50 sheets, they’re perfect for discreet touch ups leaving you matte and magnificent.

Rating: 3 Carats.  These will make sure it’s your personality that shines, not your face.

6p.com has Lamb shoes for over 70% off.